Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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