were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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