bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
