So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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