We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
