I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
