Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
