It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
