It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize