the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All I want is dick and wine.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
