They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
