Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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