Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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