check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
