well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
