I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
