I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
