I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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