The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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