I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
