nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
