He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
