: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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