Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
