Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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