he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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