I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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