You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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