WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
