but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!