I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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