Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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