hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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