It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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