what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize