: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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