I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
