Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
