Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
