I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
