I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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