dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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