I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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