in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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