Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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