I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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