I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
