neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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