hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
