I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
