my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
