it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
