12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize