if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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