i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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