woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
a search helicopter?!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize