We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
