she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
