Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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