my sisters under your porch take her home
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
