If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
