You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
