when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
